Are we out of the woods?
by Chocolatebutter
Summary: Humans and spirits were never meant to coexist, but what happens when Hijikata a human boy who has the third eye since birth but wants nothing to do with spirits or the underworld happens to meet Gintoki? A notorious fox who's head is wanted badly by the underworld. What will become of Hijikata? AU STORY. Fox!Gintoki x Human!Hijikata
1. Chapter 1

**Hijikata POV**

The sound of traffic lights beeping, cars driving and honking in the distance. A rustling sound was made as I adjusted my grip on those plastic bags. As I exhale, I could see mist forming in front of my mouth before it disappears into the chilling air. I continued playing around, making small and big clouds of mist by controlling my breathe, it feels like I've turned into a cloud-breathing dragon. I laughed inwardly at my thoughts as I came to a stop at the intersection road and waited for the pedestrian crossing to turn green.

It took about a few minutes before the color red turned green, signalling for all pedestrian to cross. People began walking, save for those who were cycling which was a dangerous thing to do, at least that's what I thought. I took two steps forward before coming to a haul as I notice something white from across the street.

 _A fox._

It all happened so quickly, the fox who was opposite of me crossed the road, but instead of running by pass me, it zoomed pass the other lane instead. Within a second, a car screech was heard, followed by a thumping sound. The driver accelerates away not wanting to take responsibility. People all around the area paused, some drivers rolling down their windows to see what the commotion was about. In that mere seconds, phones were out, pictures were snapped. Whispers and murmurs of pity were heard, drivers shaking their head in sympathy as they slowly drive away, so as to not cause a traffic jam.

I snapped out of my trance and rushed to said animal. Dropping my bags of groceries as I kneel in front of the fox and checked it's heart rate, I sighed in relieve as it was still breathing. There was a pool of blood surrounding it's body which flipped my panic switch. I looked around frantically before spotting a taxi ahead, I raised my hand hopping to flag it down. I was relieved when the guy came over and rolled his screen down.

"Hop in the car, young man. I'll take you to the vet" The driver said the moment he got out of the car. I took out a handkerchief and wrapped it around it's right leg to prevent further bleeding, it looks messy but at least it'll stop the blood. I shrugged off my coat and gently wrapped the fox in it, making sure that it's able to breathe at the same time. As for the taxi driver, he helped me with my groceries bag, soon as we both got into the car, I gave the man directions on where to go. It was a location which was a few blocks down the streets.

"Toshi~!"

"Hey Kondo-san, I need your help. Right now I'm bringing an injured fox to your house, tell your father please" I spoke with such calmness in my voice that it surprised me. Usually I would panic when something dying is in my hands but for some reason, I didn't, not today I guess.

"Shit! Alright, I'll tell my father right now!" I could hear a slight waver in his voice, followed by the sound of objects knocked down and feet running up the stairs. I smiled slightly imagining a panicking and worried Kondo running up the stairs, trying not to trip and fall as he made his way to his father room or office I would like to call.

"Thanks Kondo-san, see ya.." I ended the call, knowing that he might not had heard it.

* * *

I looked down at the fox on my lap, it sat still with its eyes closed and mouth slightly agape as it takes in small amount of air. I reached out my hand and gently stroke it's forehead, hoping to reassured it.

"Phew...it seems like you came in time" Mr Isao came out of the door and pulled his surgery mask down. I stood up from my seat, followed by Kondo and we both made our way to Mr Isao. "How is the fox doing?" I asked.

"I gave him some anti-inflammatory to relieve his pain, but it'll take a while for him to fully recover. Poor guy had a deep cut on his right leg..." he shook his head disapprovingly, "but luckily I managed to stitch it up, so how d'ya find him kid?" Pairs of eyes looks at me with curiosity. I took a step back and rubbed the back of my neck nervously, thinking on how I should explain this. I certainly did realized that I had barged into their home in the middle of the night and worst still, today was Kondo's father supposedly off day.

"Well, I witness this fox getting into a hit-and-run accident..." I mumbled, "And I'm sorry for just randomly barging in like this..." I bowed down in apologizes.

"No, no! It's alright, that's what a veterinarian gotta do right?" He laughed as he patted me on the shoulder. "Raise your head boy and come with me, I'll show ya the fox" Mr Isao laughed and I stood straight up again and nodded my head.

I followed Mr Isao upstairs before entering a room located on the left side at the far end.

The room inside was painted teal blue and at the corner right side of the room was a medium size dark oak wooden crib, behind it just a few meters from it is a square-shaped window that has it's binds down. There was a small rolling desk next to the crib, on top of it were some medicines and a stethoscope. Two huge book shelves on the left side of the room and a small desk beside that has a laptop and some paperwork on top. A small black office chair that is tucked half way inside of the small desk. Small frames of flowers and abstract paintings hung on the walls and a blue round carpet in the middle of the room.

I walked to the crib and peaked inside.

The fox was lying down on a pillow with its right leg bandaged up neatly. No sign of blood on any part of its body. It seemed content lying like that, but I felt a bit guilty that I had to wake it from it's slumber for a while. I decided to bring the little fellow home and nurse it till it's able to walk on it's own again. I didn't want to trouble Kondo or his father.

"I'll bring the fox home and nurse it."

"Ehh? It'll be a trouble for you since you have schoo-"

"No, it'll be fine. Plus, I found him...or her? And I would like to bear full responsibility for it."

"It's a male but if that's what you want...then alright." Mr Isao smiled.

* * *

"Thank you Mr Isao, for driving me home and saving the fox..." I closed the back of the trunk and patted it signalling them they're good to go.

"If there's anything up, you know what to do!" Mr Isao honked, Kondo grinned and waved at me, showing me hand gestures to text him once I'm inside of my house. I gave him the middle finger and he returned with one hand on his chest and the other cupping his cheek, a shocked expression on his face. I laughed because I knew we were just fooling around. I continued standing where I was, waving until their car has disappeared in sight. I turn around, climbed the stairs and head towards my apartment.

Once inside, I closed the doors, took off my shoes and socks and tossed them aside, feeling the coldness of my marble floor against my feet felt great. I walk bristly towards my room, careful not to make a sound as I open the door. There lying on the bed was the little fox, he seemed content or so I hope.

I slowly open my cabinet and took out a spare mattress I had and spread it across the floor. I lie down onto it, tossing and turning until I found the perfect position which is sliding my arm under my head and resting on it. I yawned and closed my eyes, allowing sleep to consume me.

* * *

When morning came, I was awoken by the buzzing noise of my alarm clock. I stretched before sitting up on the mattress, scratching my head and yawning. I blinked multiple times and tried to focus my vision on the white lump on my bed. I pulled my blankets away and crawled towards my bed and sat cross-legged. I smiled at the adorable sight in front of me. I could hear small sounds of snoring coming from the animal, its body curled up into a tight ball and snowy white tail swishing back and forth gently.

"Good morning..." I whispered and stroke his fur. Red eyes cracked open to look at me, he stares at me for a mere seconds before swinging its tail at me in an attempt to shoo me off and succeeded. He curled into a ball again and continued his sleep. I laughed and stood up, backing away from the adorable furball. "Alright, alright...I'll get breakfast ready..." At the mere mention of 'breakfast', white ears perked up and red eyes staring at me expectedly, I swear I could see a flash of excitement in them.

"I'll get you something tasty~" I walked out of the room before a thud was heard on the floor, I turn around to see the fox limping towards me as if begging me to take him with me. I sigh and shook my head slightly as I walked back to scoop him up in my arms. It made a cute yawning sound before snuggling closer to my chest. "There, there..." I carefully make my way towards the living room. I used one of my feet to push one of the pillow close to my kotatsu and placed the fox on top of it. "Now, wait here." I draped a small blanket around him before standing up and making my way to the kitchen.

I took out a small bowl and cracked four eggs inside and using a chopstick to stir it constantly until it's all well combine. Next, I placed my small frying pan onto the stove, turned on the fire and waited for a few minutes before grabbing a butter from my fridge and a butter knife from my utensil stand. I scooped a small chunk of butter and dropped it into the pan. A sizzling sound was made, small smokes appearing as the butter melt. I swirl the pan around, coating it with the butter and placed it back on heat. I took the bowl and poured all the eggs into the pan. I then lowered the heat before using my chopsticks to scramble the eggs.

I took out two huge white plates and placed them on the counter table, I turned off the stove, took the pan and divided out our portion, more for me of course. I sprinkle a little bit of pepper and some spring onions on top of mine, the smell of buttered eggs is making my stomach growl in hunger. I went to take my loaf of bread, slicing four pieces before popping two into the toaster and the other two placed on the plate for the little fox. While waiting for my toasted bread, I open up my fridge and grabbed yesterday's hot dogs, threw them in the microwave and heated them up for a minute and a half.

"Here we go, Hijikata's special breakfast edition!" I yelled enthusiastically, I placed my plate on top of the kotatsu while the fox one in front of him which is on the floor. He hopped off the pillow, staring at the food hungrily. His tail has been waging excitedly the moment I came back, which I think he's unaware. But before he could get down on his food, I placed a hand in front of him and make a 'tsk' sound. "No, no. This isn't a special without the special sauce." The fox took at step back, tilted its head to one side and stared at me confusingly. I wiped out my special sauce, a white bottle containing all the goody and secret wonderland. _  
_

_All hail mayonnaise!_

I screamed that thought inwardly. Popping the cap open, I squeezed a generous amount of mayonnaise on both of our portion. I tossed the empty bottle into the bin and rubbed my hands together. "Thank you for the meal!" I said and dig in. I started with my eggs, coating it further with more mayonnaise before pushing it into my mouth. "Hmm..." I tipped my head back and groaned in satisfaction, the delicious sweet and tangy flavor mixed together with the pepper, spring onion and butter was so good. I gobbled my portion up in minutes, savoring every last bit of it.

"How's the foo- huh?" I was quirked an eyebrow when I saw that the fox plate was still full, it's like as if he hadn't ate anything at all. Could it be that he's having a stomach ache? Or maybe he's burning up. I scooted closer to him and touched his forehead, it seemed like a normal body temperature. "What's wrong?" I scratched under its neck but it flinched and nibbled onto my fingers. The fox used it's paw and pushed the plate away, refusing to eat it. I scratched my head in confusion. Just a few minutes ago, he was happy and wagging his tail excitedly, so why now of all sudden?

As if on cue, I realized that it probably doesn't eat human food. I've forgotten to look up on what's a suitable food for foxes. I grabbed my phone and surfed the internet, looking up on what types of food they eat.

Apparently, foxes are omnivores, meaning that they can eat fruits, berries, birds and other small mammals. I knew a pet store down the street, I could probably buy some dead mice over there and feed it to this fellow. I got up and cleared both of our plates. I headed to my room and changed into whatever I'm comfortable wearing, which is my black sweat pants and hoodie. I grabbed my wallet and keys and stuffed them in my back pocket before heading out to the living room.

"Wait here Mayo." Yes, I decided to call the fox mayo since his fur reminds me of one. "I'll be right back, I'm just going to a local pet store to buy you some food." I kneel in front of Mayo and patted his head. I stood back up and walk to my kitchen to grab a bowl of water and to peel an orange. I walked back to Mayo and placed the two items in front of him. "In case you are hungry while waiting for me" I ruffed his forehead one last time before slinging my backpack over my shoulder and taking off for the door.

I made sure to lock the doors before heading downstairs to grab my bike, I had to make a quick trip because I didn't want Mayo starving while waiting for me. Once ready, I cycle my way towards said pet store.

* * *

"Tsk, how annoying..." Gintoki rolled his eyes. "Oi, Pachi boy. You can come out now..." He stood up and stretched, careful not to open up the wound on his right leg.

"G-Gin-san!" A small brown rabbit with white fur under its belly emerged from under the kotatsu. The little rabbit transformed, covering its body in white mist.

A brown eyed boy with raven hair and rabbit ears sticking out of his head and wearing light blue keikogi with blue linings and a blue hakama appeared in front of Gintoki. He pushed his glasses up when he notice clean bandage wrapped around the fox leg. "Gin-san your leg! Good thing I brought some medicine for you!" He took out a small pouch and open it, taking out some sticky rice wrapped in bamboo leaves.

"The hell are those?" Gintoki quirked an eyebrow, though his mouth isn't moving, he's actually using telepathic to speak with the bespectacled boy. He knew those triangle looking thing in Shinpachi hands are sticky rice but how is a mere sticky rice going to help him cure the cut on his leg? Stick them together like some kind of magical glue? Where in hell did that idiot even get that, was he scammed? Gintoki sighed, it seems to him like Shinpachi had lost majority of his brain cells.

That poor spectacle, must be hard living.

"O-Oi! I know what you're thinking!" Shinpachi fumed angrily as if he had read what Gintoki was thinking. "This bamboo rice was given to me by one of the priest, it'll help ease the pain temporary." He sat down and unwrapped one of them before giving it to the fox in front of him. "Here, I've open it for you, eat it."

"Thanks, mother." Gintoki opens his mouth and ate the rice in one go. It taste nothing like rice, at most it taste like shit. He cringed at the thought of eating poop but as soon as he swallowed the rice, he could feel the slight burning sensation on his right leg disappearing. It's like a cut had never happen before. "Hm...Seems like it worked." Gintoki hummed happily, stretching his right leg to test his limits. It seems like he can't stretch it fully so he can't run but at least he can walk properly now.

"Alright, I'll leave the pouch with you. I have to go now, Kagura and me are still looking for ingredients to make the elixir for you, so stay here till we come back!" Shinpachi got up and open up the window but was stopped half-way by Gintoki yanking onto his hakama.

"I'm coming with you Shinpachi, it'll be faster if we all split up and look for the ingredients, what else is needed?" Gintoki muttered a spell before smokes appeared around him, transforming him into his human-hybrid form. Sliver hair with fox ears sticking out, white tail swinging casually.

Shinpachi was about to agree in letting Gintoki come along, until he noticed some visible scratch and bite marks on his body and arms. He looked away in shame, recalling yesterday's event. If only he hadn't suggested they visited that place. Maybe then Gintoki wouldn't be in this state. He didn't knew that place was filled with unclean spirits, strong ones even. He wasn't even able protect them, let alone fend for himself. Kagura and Gintoki did most of the work and the worst part was, he hadn't notice one was behind him which lead to Gintoki getting a deep cut on his right leg. The weapon that was used on Gintoki wasn't a normal one but a demon sword. He felt even more guilty that he and Kagura had to flee while Gintoki try to hold them back.

"Let's go Pac-"

"No! You can't come!" Shinpachi yelled out of a sudden which made Gintoki jump slightly. "You're still injured Gin-san, it'll be better if you rest here till I'm back with the elixir..."

Gintoki smacked both hands on his face and groan in annoyance. "No waaaaaaay! Have you seen that bastard?! Who puts a whole bottle of mayonnaise on their food for breakfast?! That's crazy!"

"H-He what? What mayonnaise?"

"You heard me! Mayonnaise on those poor good food!" Gintoki cried dramatically before falling onto the floor on all fours, making sobbing noises. "I need sugar! That's what I want! Sugar, sugar, sugaaaar!" He grabbed the small pouch and took out some bamboo rices and stuffed it in his mouth. "Mhgud- ishnsajk!" he began speaking gibberish which made Shinpachi burst out laughing.

"I don't know you mean but just stay here! I'll be back tomorrow!" and with that Shinpachi hopped out of the window, disappearing in sight. Gintoki sighed as he lean down to lie on his back onto the cold hard marble, save for the pillow under his head.

The house was quiet after Shinpachi had left.

Gintoki got up and decided to do what he's born to do, _snooping_ around.

Starting with the kitchen, he made a beeline for the refrigerator. Opening it, he was stunned by what he saw inside. Two levels filled with rows of mayonnaise, how crazy is that bastard? He rummage through the fridge but found nothing that can satisfy his hunger for sugar. Sighing in defeat, he decided to head for that weirdo bedroom, since that is where he'll be able to unlock hidden secrets.

 _And possibility use it for blackmail material in the future, maybe._

It wasn't hard for Gintoki to locate which room belongs to that mayonnaise freak, because his door has a mayonnaise sticker on it.

His room surprisingly looks normal.

Gintoki shrugged and decided to start with the bed. It's been proven that people usually hid their priced treasure somewhere on their bed, or maybe under. And he was right, he found a box under his bed. Gintoki smirked as he opens the box but frowns upon knowing what the contends are.

More mayonnaise bottles.

"What's wrong with this guy..." Gintoki muttered as he opens the window, tossed the box outside and burned them with his fox fire. He watched as the ashes were blown away by the wind, some landing onto the ground.

"Gintoki-sama!" Gintoki looks up and notice a blue glowing flame heading towards his direction. It seems like one of his subordinate has found him. Was his scent really that strong that they were able to locate him? To be honest, Gintoki wanted to keep a low profile till he's fully healed, so that he could return the favors to those damn demons.

"Haah, how did you find me?" Gintoki stared into the distance as he picked his nose, he could feel a small treasure at the tip of his finger. Just a little more and it'll be free.

"Gintoki-sama! I'm glad you're okay! How's the injury? I heard from Shinpachi-sama that you hurt your leg! Should I call for a doctor?!" the blue flame blabbered on.

Blah, blah, blah, was what's going in and out of Gintoki's ear, he couldn't care what his subordinate got to say, he's got a major crisis over here! A _crisis_ with the treasure refusing to leave his nose that is!

"And I have something important to tell you!" the little spirit stares disgustingly at her master unsightly behavior, but nonetheless decides to continue, "I've found the location Gintoki-sama!" those words, caught the fox attention. His gaze shifted to focus on her, a glint of excitement in his eyes.

"And where is said location?"

"It's at Street 81, at the alley beside the bar, Gintoki-sama"

Gintoki smirks, it looks like he'll be having his revenge today, but first. There's something he needs to borrow. He waved his hands and dismissed his subordinate. He went back to the living room and reverted back into his animal form, he's going to preserve some energy before giving those bastards a surprise visit.

* * *

 **Hijikata POV**

"I'm back Mayo!" I shivered slightly when my feet made contact with the cold marble floor, I quickly slipped on my bedroom slippers and padded my way to the living room. Apparently, Mayo was sleeping on the couch. I wasn't sure if I should wake him up or just let him sleep.

I squat in front of him and stroke his fur, admiring the smooth feeling against my fingers.

"Mayo, I'm home..." I called out softly as I continued to stroke his fur.

Ruby eyes cracked open and stared at me.

I began smelling a very strong flowery scent in the air. The more I breathe it in, the more dizzy I felt. I fell and landed on my back, a loud ringing sound in both of my ears as my vision gets disoriented. I tried to get back up, but I couldn't. I felt my body getting heavier and heavier, so does the sound in my ear, it gets louder and louder.

 _I was unable to move a single muscle._

The last thing I saw was someone with white curly hair, mouthing something.

* * *

Bright blue eyes shot open and he felt sharp, alive and _thirsty_. He quickly sat up from the floor and examines his hands before cracking his knuckles. He felt it. Real flesh and blood coursing throughout his body. _  
_

_It's exciting_

A human body is best after all. He stood up and muttered a spell, allowing his full powers to course through his veins, not caring if it's dangerous since human bodies aren't made to house two spirits.

A cloud of mist covers his entire body as he transformed. Nine black tails emerged from his lower back, black fox ears appeared on his head and his eyes changed from piercing blue to a bright red. As he stared at his new transformed body, he grins smugly at the mirror, sharp canine teeth glistered at night. It has been a long time since he's been able to fully use his powers and he felt _good_.

Gintoki chuckles as he snapped his fingers, summoning his two trusted subordinates.

"Gintoki-sama!" Two blue flames greeted in unison as they appeared in front of him.

"Look after the house for me. If the kids come by, don't tell them 'bout my whereabouts." Gintoki slides open the window and hopped off.

Judging by the sky, it's already close to midnight which would be _perfect_ , less humans around equals to less distraction and more fun for him. Gintoki jumps from roof to roof, cutting corners and lanes as he felt the wind against his skin.

It wouldn't be long until he reached his next destination.

The first punch stunned Gintoki, he hadn't realized that they were lying and waiting, probably trying to ambush him. He thought for a moment before noticing a sword flying straight to his direction, he quickly moved to the right but barely dodging the sudden attack. He clucked his tongue in annoyance and turn around to run deeper into the alley, prompting the other demons to follow him.

Gintoki pulled out his bokuto, a wooden sword given to him by his previous master.

"Fox demon..." the demons gather together and formed into one huge shadow and it slowly took a form of a human being, come to think of it. The form look like an exact replicate of that mayonnaise addict, except instead of fox ear, it's a pair of goat horns. The demon stood at five meters tall and looked down at the fox with a knowing smirked at the advantage it has. "Give me your powers!" it lunged forward, ready to smash him flat into the concrete. But Gintoki was quick, he manged to block the incoming attack and at the same time, ripped off one of its arm, dispersing it into thin air.

Gintoki smirked at the satisfying howl the demon made as it loses one of its arm, apparently the sword given to him was no ordinary wooden sword. It was a sword, dare he say it? A sword that came from the heavens. A divine weapon made to cut through all evil. But alas, just cutting it into pieces isn't satisfying at all. He leaps into the air before latching one of his talisman onto its back.

"Just one cut and you're crying like a pussy? What a joke huh~" he taunted as huge blue flames engulfed the demon's body before disappearing.

"You! How dare you! What did you do to my body?!" the demon wailed in pain and clawed its own back, a searing fire coursing through its body. The pain was so unbearable that they had to free themselves but only to find that they couldn't. It's like they're stuck together with super glue. By then, the demons had all realized that they were bind together by a binding spell.

"You cunning fox! Let us go! Let us go!" a deep moan was heard. The voices kept changing, from a deep voice to a girl's voice to an old lady, the voices kept changing to the point where even the words are starting to sound incoherent. All this however, were music to Gintoki's ear. He enjoys the pain and suffering of others, especially if he's the one who caused it.

"Well then...Time to _punish_ you..." Gintoki points his sword towards them and ran forward, he swings his sword, effectively splitting their body into half, not before turning around and sliced one of its leg off. Gintoki laughed hysterically as he continued to swing abusive hits onto their lower half and watched them scream in agony as they started trashing about.

"STOP THIS YOU FUCK!" the demon crawled its way towards the fox with such speed that made Gintoki's heart leaped, not from fear but excitement. He timed his movement and once the demon was close enough, he jammed his sword into their right shoulder, locking it in place.

"Arrgh!" the demon screamed and gripped the sword only to retract because of the burning pain when it touches the divine sword. The demon struggled weakly, trying to free itself and it wasn't long before multiple eyes starts appearing around its body, looking around relentlessly. Gintoki bend down, one arm position on his thigh as he rest his cheek on his hand, a huge grin plastered on his face, he was aware of how much pain he's causing them.

"You shouldn't have messed with me..." Gintoki brought his other hand up, creating a ball of fire. "You know what's gonna happen right?" He didn't wait for a respond and brought his hands down onto one of the eyes, burning it with his fox fire.

A loud scream was heard as the demon struggled.

"Argggghhhhh!"

Gintoki hummed and pretends to ponder as he continues digging his nails into each of the eyes, twisting and turning as if they were nothing but jellies, he even squashed a few of them. He continued his administration until a few minutes later, deciding that it's time to end his fun and end the poor fellow misery. He stood up and shook his hands clean as he admired the work he made.

"Alright, I'll end your suffering." He smiles and pulled out his sword.  
There was no respond even after he lands the final blow, it seems like they 'died' a while ago.

Gintoki pulls out some talismans and began chanting before dispersing them around the area, making sure that this place is rid of unclean shit. As soon as he's done, he hurriedly made his way home. It seems like his body is at its peek. He felt a wave of burning pain in his chest, if he doesn't get back soon, he might lose that damn mayonnaise addict soul.

* * *

What he sees in front of him was appalling, the whole house had been turned upside down, the place had became unrecognizable. Chairs and tables were broken in half, the sofa was overturned, broken shards of glasses lying around, huge cracks on the floor. Even the kitchen was in worst condition, part of the kitchen had turned black which Gintoki suspected was due to fire. He walked into the hallway, noticing all the doors were broken in half, except for one.

A door with a mayonnaise sticker plastered on it was still in tact.

Gintoki dragged himself towards the room, aware that he's running out of time.  
As soon as he opens the door, he headed for the bed, flopping his body down and muttering a spell, releasing himself. He reverted back to his animal form and jumped up onto the bed to check the other male. He let out a sigh of relieve when breathing sounds were heard.

Now that problem is gone, the next one is about his house.

"Gintoki-sama!" A small blue flame appeared from inside the closet.

"Explain yourself." said Gintoki as he climbed on top of the sleeping male form and uses him as his cushion. The rise and fall of his chest feels really comfortable for Gintoki, it's like he's on a surfboard.

"We were under attack by the same demon you were pursuing, apparently they had split into two groups...the stronger ones came here, the one you fought were the minor ones..."

"And this room? Why was it the only one not touched by those demons?"

Gintoki was mad that they had outsmarted him, it seems like the problem isn't solved at all. But it doesn't matter, he'll get his revenge sooner or later.

"This room had talismans, I'm not sure where but I know it's around, that's why the demons weren't able to touch this room..."

Gintoki was surprised at hearing that, could this mean that this man must be dealing with spirits? But if he is, he should be able to sense that he's a spirit too or maybe he's just keeping quiet about it. Gintoki sighed, this is a pain in the ass. He curled himself up, not before dismissing his subordinates, even though they were begging him to use his powers to temporarily fix the house or else the poor male is going to have a heart attack when he wakes up.

But that's what Gintoki wanted to see, he smirks and closes his eyes.

Today may be a disaster but tomorrow's going to be a surprise. _  
_

_A huge surprise that is._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Please forgive my grammars ;;w;;

* * *

 _What the fuck._

Those were the first words that popped inside of Hijikata's head the moment he walks out of his bedroom.

"Fuck...is this..." he wobbled slightly as he tries to steadied himself. His body aches badly, especially his legs, it felt like as if he was suffering from a post-marathon. He rotates his shoulder gently, the popping sound made him feel a little bit better.

He went into the kitchen, which was in a complete mess. Hijikata picks up a cup which managed to survived from whatever explosion happen here and turns on the tap. He's throat has been feeling dry the moment he woke up and he needed water badly.

Hijikata tossed the cup away when he realized that the tap was busted. He went into the toilet and tried the sink, it wasn't working either. He sighed in frustration when he realized that not only was his water busted but there's no electricity at all. Luckily it's in the morning now, if he had woken up during the night, he's confident that he'll be cover in cuts and bruises. He walked out of the toilet and went back towards his kitchen to rampage through the drawers and cabinets, there's sure to be a can of drinks or juice around here. He leaned against the wall and sighed in defeat when he couldn't find any, that is until he looks up at his fridge.

He was surprised that it wasn't broken in half. He opens up the fridge, only to find that his precious mayonnaise bottles had disappeared and there's only an orange left.

Since he's thirsty as fuck and there isn't any source of water, he decided to eat the orange. He peels it and dumps the skin onto the floor, he's kitchen is already in a fuck up mess, so why bother being clean?

He split the orange into half and ate it. There was a prickling sensation in his throat as he eats the orange, it felt weird but good at the same time since he's relinquishing his thirst for water. Once he's done, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hands and made his way towards his living room. He had to use the wall for support as his head still hurt from yesterday's incident.

He rubbed his temple, trying to recall how all this had happened. But sadly, his brain is too wrecked to register anything.

he doesn't recall having any fight with anyone during the past few days or weeks nor does he has any enemies-

 _Enemies._

"FUCKING SOUGOOOOOO!" Hijikata yelled in anger. Surely that _sadistic_ junior of his is responsible for this. He recalled a few days ago that he had accidentally told Sougo his house address and because of that, that idiot must have hired someone and told them to bash his house up. That damn sadistic bastard, doing something like this is _way_ too overboard.

"Fuck, fuck, _fuck!"_ Hijikata punched the nearest wall beside him.

He paused for a moment to calm himself down. _Damn_ he's pissed, if he ever sees that brat tomorrow, there's no telling if he'll go crazy and start mauling him.

Hijikata eyes widen in horror as he realized that the house was awfully _quiet._

"M-Mayo! Where are you?!" Hijikata rushed into the living room, eyes darting everywhere. He tossed every objects and that includes overturning his sofa, but when there isn't any sight of him, he dashed towards his room and slammed the door open.

"M-Mayo..." Hijikata dropped in front of his bed, relieve washed over him.

The fox was curled up on his bed, sleeping peacefully. "I need to call a police..." Hijikata got up and pull out his cellphone and dialed the police hotline.

"Thank you Mr Hijikata, we'll investigate this matter, but for the time being do you have anywhere you could stay?"

"Uh..." Hijikata rubbed his neck as he thinks of where he could stay. He's family is currently out and the only person he could relied on is Kondo, but that would mean that he's bothering his family too. There is still one more option though and that is his grandmother. But she'll be freaking pissed at him if she knew what happen to the apartment she bought for him. Hijikata sighed in frustration, there's no way he'll be able to afford for a place to stay since he already has trouble paying for his school fees, he doesn't need one more burden on his shoulder.

"Yeah... I have a place to stay officer..."

"Alright that's good, then we'll be on our way. We'll contact you if anything comes up."

Hijikata sighed once again.

This is gonna take a while to move, but at least today's a holiday.

* * *

 **Gintoki POV**

"This is why I told you not to get yourself drunk, you stupid!"

"I-I wasn't drunk or anythin- ack!"

I sat at the porch of the house as I watch the two humans interacting. It seems like granny is mad at the mayonnaise addict for destroying the house, but it truly wasn't his fault though. Nether was it mine, I had planned to leave him alone last night but for some reason, I couldn't. I mean, he _did_ help me after all so it's only best that I return the favors right? Initially my plans were to guard him till dawn then I would leave to look for Shinpachi and Kagura but because of my pig of a habit, I fell asleep and ended up being brought here.

Looks like I'll have to wait till everyone's asleep then, it'll be much easier to leave without getting caught.

"And what is that ugly shit?" I felt strong daggers aimed at me.

I looked up and made eye contact with blazing blue eyes. That old lady looked as if she wanted to rip my balls apart. I stared back without averting my gaze, like hell I'll back down.

"O-Oh this is my pet fox, Mayo..."

"Who gave you permission to bring a pig into the house?!"

Pig? What _pig_? How dare that blind old woman called me that! Does my _smooth_ , white and shiny tail resembles a spiral pink worm? But I can't blame her though. No, no. She's at the age where her body is getting dysfunctional , that's why she couldn't tell the difference. Poor old lady, she probably doesn't have much time left.

"M-Mayo isn't a pig! He's a fox damn it!"

That's _right!_ Tell that pig grandmother of yours! Shaming divine creatures like that, I'll curse you!

"How troublesome, to bring something dirty into the Hijikata's household..." she mumbles as she stood up and walked towards the cabinet to bring out a small box with pretty ornaments decorated on it. She glanced suspiciously at me for a second before looking over to her grandson, gesturing him to come.

Like hell I'll steal something like that, I sneered inwardly.

But then again, that _thing_ might cost a fortune.

I crawled a little closer and perked my ears up, trying to listen in on their conversation. If that box is worth some cash, I might borrow it. And perhaps loan it to some people who are willing to buy- I mean _willing_ to admire the beauty of it for a few days and then afterwards, I'll just take it back and repeat the whole process again. Sharing is caring right?

"You got it? Don't break it or I'll break you"

"Yeah, I know."

 _NOOOOOOOO!_

What did she say? What did she saaaaay?! I knew it was a bad idea to start thinking when they were talking. Was that box worth a thousand, no maybe it's worth a _million_? Is that piece of shit even worth anything? But then again, granny _did_ mention not to break it, so it's probably worth something right? _Right?_

I groaned in annoyance and rolled onto my back.

"What's wrong Mayo?" he squat in front of me.

 _"What's wrong is that your ugly mug is getting into Gin-san view, fuck off."_ Is what I wanted to say, but alas, the poor me has to endured it and act like a cute adorable fluff. I sighed and rolled onto my feet. I walked towards him and propped up my front two paws against his chest before making a whimpering sound.

"Oh, you wanna play Mayo? But you're kind of injured you know..." he patted me on the head.

I so do not want to _play_ , stupid human. I want food, feed me! What kind of slave is this, even Shinpachi is better than this mayonnaise addict.

I shook my head and licked his disgusting hand, whimpering again.

"I'm sorry Mayo...but you can't come with me either..."

 _I wouldn't want to follow you either, get the hint dumbass._

"He's hungry, Toushi...Give that pig whatever leftovers we have in the fridge"

That's right, Toushi-boy! Feed this _pig_ before he dies of hunger! I wagged my tail excitedly at the mention of food. I leaped up onto the sofa and waited for my food.

"Alright, then I'm off. I'll be back grandmother!" he placed a huge plate of chicken and other various of meat on the floor and gestured for me to come towards him which I did. He patted me on the head before leaving the house, I wanted to cut that hand off so badly. No one touches me other than Ketsuno Ana.

"Yeah, yeah get going..."

I decided to let it slide for now and focus on the plate in front of me. I wolfed down on my food hungrily, never in my life have leftovers taste so fucking good. This old lady is definitely a good cook. Maybe I should seduce her, then I'll have three meals a day, no, _four_ meals a day. You can't miss supper. I should bring Kagura and Shinpachi along, that way I don't need to worry about feeding them too.

"Fox spirit, what are you doing with my grandson?"

I tensed.

"There's no use hiding, show yourself before I chain you" she pulls out a talisman from her sleeve. I clucked my tongue in annoyance before muttering a few phrase, transforming back into myself.

"Whoa, that's some s&m play you got there...but too bad I'm not interested in old ladies." I smirked as I stood confidently in front of her.

"State your name, fox spirit."

"Name's master, now can I get back to eating?" I grabbed the plate and sat on the sofa as I continued to satisfy my stomach. Like hell I'll give my real name to that old lady. I'm not as stupid as Shinpachi, but even if he were to say out his real name, I doubt anyone would even want to use him as their familiar. That good for nothing rabbit is only suitable to play the role of a angry house-wife or a slave.

"I can catch you, do you know that?"

"So what? You gonna _chain_ me up and pour hot wax all over my sexy body? Old people these days..." I rolled my eyes.

"I helped you fox, so in return, you're in dept to me." she states.

"Help me with what? Feeding me with leftovers?"

"The wound on your leg is healed. Check it for yourself." She states.

I rolled up my pants and surely enough, the wounds on my calf had disappeared. It's no wonder I was able to move around so smoothly. I propped my leg up and licked the plate clean before placing it onto the coffee table in front of me. There is a small feeling that tells me that I shouldn't be messing with her.

"So? What do you want?"

She stood up and went into the kitchen not before coming out a few minutes later with a tray of teacups, a small cement tea pot and a small plate of assorted cookies. I watched in amusement as she walks towards me, her hand shaking a little due to having not much strength in carrying the tray. She then placed the tray onto the coffee table, took one of the cups and poured tea into it not before serving it to me.

"For years our generations has been able to interact and deal with the other world...We are blessed with a third eye, something not many has it." she sat at the opposite direction, sipping her tea.

"Oi, oi, what's with this setting? I'm not gonna marry you or anything old lady." I took the plate of cookies and began munching on them. The taste wasn't so bad, especially the buttered ones. I hope she has more, I wouldn't mind having desserts for all four meals.

"You're a funny one, kid..." she smiles.

But going back to what she mention just now, about the third eye then that explains everything back at that house, the reason why that guy's room wasn't affected could be because of his grandmother doing. She must have placed a protection charm in his room. No wonder I couldn't sense anything the moment I entered his room. I really should be wary of that old lady in front of me, after all she did mention about being able to _deal_ with spirits.

"That guy, can he see too?" I sipped the tea, letting the bitterness overtake my taste bud. _Yuck._

"He could, but he doesn't want to. He thinks it's fake, that stupid kid." she shook her head and sighed, "Youngsters this days, believing they don't exist. If god does, why not spirits?"

"Well...brats are gonna be brats..."

"Well then wait til they see one..." she snickers.

"Ha, they'll probably be scared shit then" I laughed.

We went silent afterwards, her sipping tea and me watching the garden outside since I already finished the plate of cookies and there's nothing much to do. The sliding doors were open wide, so I had the perfect view of her little garden. I relaxed a little and lean backwards, enjoying the flowing breeze entering the house.

"Tell me, how did you get such a serious wound?"

"I got into a fight, blahblahblah, shit happens and yeah." I yawned a little, regretting that I had ate too much because right now, I'm starting to experience food coma.

"And you messed my grandson house up."

"Nope, those demons did. I didn't knew they'll be able to find out where I was hiding, if I knew they were gonna wreck that house..." I yawned and lie comfortably on the sofa. "I'm gonna take a nap granny, wake me when dinner's ready." I closed my eyes, letting the silence and the faint sound of the small waterfall outside in the garden lulled me to sleep.

"I see..." she stood up and left.

There was the sound of rummaging and shuffling going in the next room, I couldn't help but wonder what that old lady is up to. She's not going to try and seduce poor me right? I gulped at the thought of her in some s&m play but aborted the thoughts quickly since it's making me want to puke all that I've eaten. I opened one of my eyes and stared at the door, waiting to see if she'll come back dressed in some weird costume.

But thankfully, she didn't.

"This here, is a charm that allows you to be visible in the humans eyes. I'm having trouble keeping my store so I want you to get me customers." She gave me the charm.

I stared at the small light pink stone in my hand, I never knew such a thing existed.

"And why should I help? Just because you healed me doesn't mean I would return the favors."

"But you did so with my grandson right? I can tell, there are hints of your powers lingering around him." She smiles, "That marking I saw on your forehead, you're a divine fox no?"

""Hmm...not yet." I popped the stone into my mouth and crushed it. "If you knew I was a divine fox, why did you look as if you wanted to slaughter me earlier or something?"

"Not many who acquired this power is ever good...tell me, how many tails do you have?"

"Nine."

"I see...so the previous eight-tailed fox..."

"He died."

"So the legends are true after all...there can only be _one_ divine fox. And once it reaches the age of a thousand years, it'll be able to ascend into heaven, where they came a celestial being..." she nodded her head as she mumbles to herself as if she had figured something out.

"You trust me too easily granny, for all you know, I might kill you and your grandson."

"Then in the first place, you wouldn't even be able to step foot inside this house, if you haven't notice," she points upwards, around the house, "there's protection charms around."

"Hmm..." I shifted my gaze towards the ceiling and true enough, there's a marking which is only visible to spirits like us painted on the wall. Just by looking at the marking, I could feel strong powers emitting from it.

"Thanks for the help, now I'm going to sleep. Wake me when dinner's ready." I stretched and lie comfortably once again on the sofa with one leg propped against the back.

"Not yet you lazy fox, you'll be helping me for now since you already ate that charm, I assume you're going to help me." She got up and took out a piece of paper and pen before scribbling onto the paper and handing it to me. I took it and read what was written.

It has an address and directions on how to get there.

"M'kay..." I tossed the paper away. "Wake me when dinner's ready."

"Get going already!" she took out her bamboo stick and swings it at my direction.

I hopped out of the sofa, barely missing the stick that was about to land on my crotch.

"Oi! What is wrong with you?! That almost hit my junior!" I screamed.

"That's what I'm trying to do, now get going! Shooo!" She swings her stick once again, and I bolted for the garden. That old lady is crazy! I slipped the piece of paper into the inner chest pocket of my kimono before leaping over the fence.

"Don't you dare screw my shop up!" she called out.

"Shut up old hag!" I yelled back.

* * *

"So _this_ is what you idiots have been doing!" Gintoki kicked hard onto the tree trunk, resulting in Kagura and Shinpachi fall. The two kids landed onto the ground hard, spilling their plates of dangos.

"That's so mean Gin-chan!" Kagura jumped onto the older male but missed when he side-stepped her, making her land flat on her face. She yelped in anger as she stood up, ready to do another counter attack on that man.

"G-Gin-san?! We can explain! Kagura and me are on our breaks! A-Anyway, how did you find us?" Shinpachi stood up and dusted himself. He instinctively took out his glasses and wipe them clean before putting it back on.

"With the power of love..." Gintoki posed dramatically and both Kagura and Shinpachi cringed in disgust.

"Hey, hey Shinpachi, did Gin-chan lost his mind? Or is that even Gin-chan? He looks like an old man to me, maybe we should get going." Kagura purposefully throws wary looks at Gintoki as she pretends to be whispering something to Shinpachi which she isn't.

"I can hear you damn brat!" Gintoki smacked her on the head.

"Shinpachi! This crazy old man just hit me! Can I kill him? Huh!? Huh?!" she swings her umbrella towards Gintoki but he managed to dodged it.

"Enough of this you idiot!" Gintoki hits her on the head again with much force this time.

"Now look here..." Gintoki rolled up his pants and showed them his calf where the wound used to be. "See, smooth as a new born baby!" he smirks.

"You _dirty_ pervert!" Kagura shield her eyes as she screams.

"W-What?! Am _not_!" Gintoki yells at her as he rolls down his pants. " _Look_ , my injuries are healed damn it!"

"What?!" The two kids shouts in unison.

Shinpachi and Kagura rushed towards Gintoki and in the process, accidentally knocking him into the ground with Shinpachi landing on his chest and Kagura in between his legs. The paled skin girl sat up and ripped the right side of his pants as if she's opening her favorite packets of pickled seaweeds. Shinpachi got up and the both of them examines his leg, touching his leg here and there, examining it and even _slapping_ it multiple times to make sure there isn't any make-up done to it.

Kagura and Shinpachi stared at one another before nodding in agreement.

"It seems like he's telling the truth, Shinpachi..." Kagura spoke monotonously as she picked her nose.

"Of course I'm telling the truth! Get off me!" Gintoki shoved the both of them away and stood up. "Look at what you idiots did! This is expensive damn it!" he examines the tear, it now looked as if its a ripped mini short infused with jeans. Gintoki groaned in annoyance, taking in mind to deduct their pay.

"Look, we don't have much time but we gotta get here." He fished out a piece of paper and handed it to Shinpachi. "Think you can find this location, bunny boy?"

"What is this place even, Gin-san?" Shinpachi asks as he reads the address written on it.

"I'll explain it on the way, so let's go!"

It didn't take long for the trio to find the place. They stood in front of a small store, though none of them dare say but they were thinking the same thing the moment they found the location. The place looked nothing like a shop house or anything, it looks slightly run-down and a little creepy.

"So...this is it?" Gintoki asked as he picks his nose. He looks around the streets and notice that there weren't any nearby store, save for the convenient store and some bars or pubs which were a few blocks from here. Gintoki scratched his head and sighed, maybe that's why they weren't getting enough customers. That old woman had chosen the worst spot ever, there isn't much life around here save for some people using this route to get to the city which is surprisingly quite near this area. For what he feels, this place is more suited for bars and pubs.

"Well...yeah. Let's go in?" Shinpachi stepped towards the shop, secretly hoping that this place isn't something that deals drugs or illegal weapons or any thing that spells danger.

"E-Excuse us!" Shinpachi called out as he walks inside.

The three of them were surprised that the interior looks better than the exterior. There were many hanging shelves around, each having different items. Items like small statue, crystal stones, amulets, divine figurines. There are also book shelves, probably related to the spirituals, exorcism or whatever. At the right front of the entrance is a small cash counter and at the left side are a small sofa and some chairs, they assume, must be the waiting corner for the room just beside the counter. At the far back of the store is a toilet and another counter which has a sliding door behind it. They couldn't helped but wonder how big is this shop anyway?

"Um... Excuse us, is anyone here?" Shinpachi calls out and waits in front of the cashier, thinking that the owner must be behind those door.

Gintoki yawned sleepily as he make his way towards the small sofa and lies down on it. He placed one arm at the back of his head as a substitute for a pillow and closes his eyes, taking this opportunity to take a nap. As for Kagura, she decides to explore the store, amazement gleaming in her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah! I heard you for god sake!" an older woman emerged from said room, a cigarette in one hand.

"You're the fox right?" She eyes Shinpachi up and down and took a drag of her cigarette. "You're not what my friend told me bout."

"W-Well, that 'fox' is behind me..." Shinpachi steps aside and points to the lazy male spread out on the sofa, snoring without a care in the world.

"O-Oi! Wake up Gin-san!" Shinpachi smacked the older male on the head before pulling him off the sofa.

Gintoki groaned as his body landed onto hard wooden floor. The impact was so painful, that he stayed in that position for a few minutes, mumbling before getting up and rubbing the sore spot on his shoulder.

"What was that for, damn four-eyes..."

"That lazy bum?"

"Oi, I heard that old hag!" Gintoki walked towards the counter and slams his fist down. But the older woman seemed unfazed, she blows her smoke towards his direction, causing Gintoki to irrupt in a fit of cough.

"The name is Otose, for now I'm putting you on cleaning duty. Now get dusting." She shooed him away, "The cleaning supplies are in the toilet. So get going."

"Like hell I'll take orders from you!"

"What about those two huh?!" Gintoki gestured to Shinpachi and Kagura.

"I never heard that there will be two kids with you, tell them to leave." she glared.

"Look old hag, I won't work if you're not going to hire them, they are working for me, just so you know." he walks away.

"How troublesome, fine. I'll hire them too." Otose stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray and sighed. "What's your name?" She looks at both Shinpachi and Kagura.

Gintoki smirks inwardly as he did an unsuccessful moonwalk to the counter and lean against it, folding his arms.

"I-I'm Shimura Shinpachi, it's please to meet you..." Shinpachi stood in front of the older woman and bows politely.

"Uh..I'm Kagura, nice to meet you." Kagura bowed down, following Shinpachi's behavior.

"Hmm..maybe I should hire you guys instead of him." she nodded her head satisfyingly, she could tell that these two may be young but they have the potential to work hard unlike a lazy sliver haired male. "I can see that you both would do well without that idiot guardian of yours..."

"I'm Sakata Gintoki, it's an honor to meet you..." Gintoki who appears in between of the two kids, bowed down.

"...Anyway, as you can see we're not getting much customers. So you two boys," she points to both Gintoki and Shinpachi, "will get out to the city and bring in some customers. I have a bunch of pamphlets, so hand them out for me." she went to the back of the store before bringing out a trolley of boxes, containing the pamphlets.

"Make sure you hand out every single one of em! Now get going." She stops the trolley in front of Shinpachi, gesturing for him to take over. "Once you're done, come back here. I'll hand you your pay."

"As for you Kagura, you're gonna help out with wrapping gifts. Come with me, I'll show you how. Oh and Gintoki, wait here for a moment, there's something I need to give you." She walks to the back of the store with Kagura following behind.

"Well...I guess I'll be going first! I'll see you at town then, Gin-san." Shinpachi pushed the trolley outside and began making his way towards the town area, the earlier they start the faster they'll finish this.

Gintoki yawned and sat back down on the sofa. He couldn't help but wonder why he bothered helping, he could have just left but it's not like it's bad working here or anything since they needed money and a place to stay in the first place. So maybe working here wouldn't be that bad, it's only safer for Kagura and Shinpachi since this family knows how to deal with spirits and they seem to be the type to do exorcism. This also means it'll be easier for him to track those demons down without having to worry about Shinpachi's or Kagura's safety. Even so, there's a strange feeling in his gut, he couldn't tell why but for now, he'll just ignore it.

He looks around the shop before his eyes landed on a small object at the counter table.

 _A small box with beautiful ornaments._

"Eh...?" he quirked an eyebrow, wasn't that the box that granny told that mayonnaise bastard to deliver? Gintoki stood up and made his way towards the counter, picking up the box and examines it. He opens up the box and inside was a small red triangular block wrapped with white strings. It looks odd, is it a curse?

He closes the box and takes a look at the book on the counter, turning it around so that he could read it.

It's a book for orders and deliveries. A particular delivery however, caught his attention.

 _To: Mr Ryoma. Check item if receiver name is under the box before it is to be delivered to his house and payment of one million yen to be collected on the spot.(Deliver by 7pm)_

Gintoki turns the box upside down

 _Hoshino Ryoma._

"You got to be kidding me!" Gintoki stares in astonishment. _That_ piece of shit really did cost a fortune!

Gintoki glances around the shop before quickly stuffing the box into his chest pocket. No way in hell is he gonna miss this opportunity, he's just going to _borrow_ it. Once he's made, let's say, billions of yen or something then he'll return the stupid box to it's rightful owner. He could taste it, no feel it. Sakata Gintoki, the riches man on earth. Gintoki grinned and rubbed his hands together, it's time he tell that old hag that he can no longer work for her, she could have Shinpachi and Kagura for all he cares. Strawberry milk is much more important than them or his life.

"Oi that box...put it back on the counter."

Gintoki jolted before turning around slowly.

 _It's the mayonnaise addict!_

Of all the time for him to appear, god must be punishing him.

"Y-Yo..." Gintoki waved awkwardly.

"I saw it. You stole that box, so return it." He walks towards him, the look in his eyes tells Gintoki to do as his told or else something bad is going to happen. Gintoki gulped and complied, he took out the small box and puts it back on the counter.

"L-Loook, I was just trying to play a prank...I'm not trying to steal or anything you know..." Gintoki fake laughed and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I-I'm old friends with Otose, you see!"

"Otose-san? I see..." He stops, the menacing look on his eyes disappearing at the mention of Otose.

"I'm Hijikata Toushiro, it's nice to meet you." He stretch out his hands.

"U-Uh...Sakata Gintoki..." Gintoki shook his hands.

Hijikata went to the back of the counter and took the small box and wrapped it with a nice looking gift wrap before putting the box at the back counter. He then take the book and place it neatly into the small wall shelve where they usually keep all the delivery/orders book at.

"So...you here to collect something?" Hijikata asks as he arranges some of the papers into a neat pile and capping all the pens before placing them in a little container where they kept the pens. He turns around to face the other male.

"Job actually...It's my first day here." Gintoki looks around awkwardly. Damn where is the old hag.

"I see...You from around here?" Hijikata watched him with curiosity. It's rare for people to wear kimono, especially around here and the way he's dressed, it seems a bit out of places, like how he's wearing a black zipper shirt with matching black pants and how his kimono is only worn on one arm. He quirked an eyebrow as he suddenly thought of something, could this man be a cosplayer or something?

"Y-Yeah, you could say so..."

"I see...How old?" Hijikata took out a cigarette, the sudden urge to smoke is strong.

"Whoa, not only are you a mayonnaise addict but you're a nicotine freak?!" Gintoki slapped a hand over his mouth the moment he realized that he had said that out loud. _Fuck._ He stares at the male in front of him, who looked like he wanted to punch him.

"M-Mayonnaise addict?! How did you know I like mayonnaise you damn stalker!" Hijikata took a step back and stares at him with disgust.

"I heard it from Otose you damn nicotine freak! And who would wanna stalk an ugly ass like you, hah!?" Gintoki sneered. "Get your stupid face out of my view, you stupid mayonnaise plus nicotine freak!"

"You get out of the way, fucking...stupid perm head!" Hijikata yelled, his veins popping out. How dare that dead fish eye disrespect mayonnaise. He clutched his fist, trying to control his anger but found that he couldn't. Just staring at his stupid face is making Hijikata want to strangle him to death and then toss his body in a burning pit of fire.

"Ohhh, it looks like mayo boy is angry!" Gintoki leered. "What you gonna do huh? Hit me? You gonna hit me?" he provoked, tapping his cheek, gesturing him to hit him.

"I know a mayo-" before Gintoki could even finish talking, he felt a harsh blow to his jaw, rendering him speechless for a moment. He stumbles backwards and touched the sore spot. It took a while for him to process that he had just been punched by that mayonnaise addict.

"W-What did you think you're doing?! You just punched a customer you damn mayonnaise addict!"

"No, I just punched a _worker,_ damn perm head." Hijikata smirks before cracking his knuckles. "You want another one?"

"Like hell I want!" Gintoki lunged forward and jumped over the counter before landing a blow to his face. Soon both males were exchanging punches, pulling and yanking on each other clothes. Words of profanities spews none stop. They didn't care if they've broke some of the items around them or messed up the books because at one point it became a game of who-can-hit-the-other-with-books.

"No fighting in the store you damn brats!" Both male were yanked apart before they were smacked on the head. In front of them stood the queen of this deserted street, Otose.

"Toushiro! Weren't you suppose to deliver the package? What are you still doing here?" Otose yelled angrily. "And look what you idiots did to the store!"

"I-I'll get going now..." Hijikata purposely bumped shoulders with Gintoki before going to the counter to collect the package.

"Damn mayonnaise addict."

"Damn perm head."

"Mayonnaise addict."

"Perm head."

"Mayonnaise addict."

"Perm head."

"Just get going already for god sake!" Otose yelled.

"Tch..." Hijikata left the store. The sound of a car starting not before driving off.

Otose rubbed her temple and sighed, this is going to be hectic. "Gintoki, take this amulet and wear it." She took out a small green amulet with golden decoration around it and handed it to Gintoki. It glowed slightly the moment Gintoki touches it.

"What for?" Gintoki holds the amulet up and examines it, could this be worth something? He wonders, maybe he'll check out the pawn shop later.

"That is to conceal your powers, that way demons wouldn't be able to tell that your the rumored nine-tailed fox. I heard everything and I know what's going on in the underworld." She took out a cigarette, lighted it and began smoking. "The notorious fox who is on the wanted list, I could see why they want your head."

"Ha, like they'll get my head." Gintoki puts on the amulet.

"Listen Gintoki, you see that sliding door at the back of the shop?" Otose pointed towards the back where there was another counter, but behind that counter was a sliding door with different types of talisman placed on top of it.

"You mean the toilet?" Gintoki purposefully pointed towards the toilet.

"No you idiot! Anyway, that door leads to the other world. Humans who wants to enter it has to be wearing this." She pulls out a small sliver necklace from around her neck to show it to Gintoki. "Inside there is a bar and snack house, catering to all kinds of people, by people I mean the dead. It's a place where everyone is on neutral ground and I intent to keep it that way. If they were to find out that you're close by...there might be chaos."

"So? What's the point of telling me this?"

"I'm just warning you to be careful, that's all." Otose warned.

"Yeah, yeah, thanks for the info. I'm going, can't keep four-eyes waiting." Gintoki waved and walked out.

* * *

"There you are Gin-san! What took you so long? I'm almost done with handing out the flyers anyway..." Shinpachi handed out a flyer to a lady who asked for one. "Ah, no please." he stepped backwards.

"What are you doing, Shinpachi?" Gintoki stares at him.

"G-Giving out the flyers? Anyway, don't just stand there help me!"

"What I mean was why is there rabbit ears sticking out of your head, you damn four eyes!" Gintoki yells as he pointed accusingly at the boy who is now crowded around by cute and pretty girls. Gintoki gritted his teeth in jealousy, he wanted to punch that four eyes so badly, how dare he hog all the woman when he isn't around.

"I-I just thought that by doing this it'll be easier to finish the flyers! N-No not the ears!" Shinpachi blushed as he gentle pushed a girl trying to reach for his ears. Some of them were squealing how cute he looks, some were pinching his cheeks. And all of this public display was starting to make Gintoki get mad, like really mad.

Well two can play at that game!

Gintoki hide behind a corner and mutter a spell, growing fox ears and a tail. He grabbed a few flyers before heading towards the small crowd around Shinpachi. He pulls his shirt zipper lower, exposing his chest before combing his hair backwards.

"Hey ladies, how about fawning all over Gin-san here?" He winked.

Within seconds, the crowd around Shinpachi dispersed.

"It's alright, take your time!" Gintoki did a small spin and posed.

"...Gin-san, there's just us here..." Shinpachi stares at the older male blankly.

"This is all your fault, Shinpachi! You and NEET behavior must have scared them off!"

"Isn't that your fault!? It's because you were trying to fool around!" Shinpachi yelled and smacked Gintoki. "Now we'll never gonna finish giving this out!" Shinpachi sighed. There's still two more boxes left and looking at the time, it's already past five. They needed to get back before seven.

"Don't worry four-eyes. We gotta believe... I'll go over thereeee" Gintoki pointed to a random direction but in fact he just wanted to visit the parfait store he passed by earlier while on his way to look for the four eyes. "We'll meet here once we're done." He grabbed a box and headed for the parfait store.

"Okay, just don't slack off okay Gin-san!" Shinpachi walked to the other direction and began handing out the flyers.

* * *

"Good work everyone, here's your pay." Otose handed Gintoki an envelope who quickly snatches it and tears it open. He stares at her with an bemused expression.

"Five yen for each of you." She blows out her smoke.

"FIVE YEN? YOU CRAZY OLD HAG, WE WORKED OUR ASS OFF." Gintoki complaints and slammed the counter.

"But your practically dead, there's nothing for you to do other than to wander around." Otose joked.

"At least give us 300 yen, old hag! I need my strawberry milk damn it!" Gintoki slammed the counter with his fist again.

Otose rolled her eyes and took out another two more envelope and handed it to both Shinpachi and Kagura who accept it and thanked her. She praised them for their hard work and told them to come again tomorrow in the afternoon. Gintoki pulled them away from the older woman and pestered them to open up their envelope, because with such thickness, he's confident that there's money in there.

And he was _right._

Both Kagura and Shinpachi each had six thousand yen.

"T-This isn't fair! How come they had much more than me?! Return me my 5,985 yen damn it!"

"They both worked hard, unlike you, sitting around in the parfait shop! Pueh!" She spat.

"See, Gin-chan," Kagura fanned out her money and smacked it onto Gintoki's face, "this is why you gotta work hard." she slips her money into her pocket before laughing obnoxiously just to annoy Gintoki, soon Shinpachi joined and they purposely began whispering stuff while throwing dirty looks at the older male.

"Damn brats..." Gintoki cracked his knuckles.

"By the way, Gintoki, I was just kidding." Otose chuckles, clearly she was enjoying the show.

"W-What you were?!" Gintoki walks back to her, eyes gleaming, hand sticking out.

Otose handed the money to Gintoki. "Since you guys got got your pay, now get going. Akane has prepared a feast for you kids." she gestured for them to get out since it's time to close the shop soon and it's getting pretty dark outside so she wouldn't want them to get into any trouble, especially at this timing.

"But it's only 300 yen!" Gintoki whined. "I'm not leaving until I get my 5,700 yen."

"Let's go Kagura, um, Otose-san, do you have Akane's address? I assume that is where we'll also be staying right?" Shinpachi asks as he ignores the other male.

"Yeah, here." She took out a small piece of paper and handed it to Shinpachi. "Take care on your way."

"We will, thank you Otose-san!" Shinpachi and Kagura both left the store, followed by a depressed looking Gintoki.

* * *

"So this are your children that Otose has told me about huh..."

"Not really, they're just brats." Gintoki wolfed down on his chicken, fucking hell, the food was so good that he had forgotten about those two brats money hidden in their pocket and what he was going to do to them once they're asleep. He had consider seducing this old lady. But then wouldn't it means that he'll have to be that mayonnaise freak's step-grandfather? Not that he minds, that means that freak would do what he says since there's a saying that you have to look after your grandparents or something along the lines.

"Kagura and Shinpachi right?" she asks as she scoops more rice for the vermilion haired girl, noticing that she has a big appetite for a girl her size, this bowl is probably her fifth one.

"Hmpdhp-" they both answered in unison with their mouth full.

She smiled at how adorable they are.

"Anyway, once you're done, leave the plates and cutlery in the dishwasher. I've prepared a place for you to sleep in" She pointed to the dog house at the corner of the living room. It's a medium size house, that has a red roof and a small semi-transparent curtain at the entrance of the house. "My grandson here doesn't like spirits, so for the time being, try to hide in your animals form in front of him." she eyes particularly at Gintoki since she heard about the incident earlier in the morning.

"Yeah, yeah. Where's that mayonnaise freak anyway?" Gintoki asks between food in his mouth.

"He's sleeping, I'm going to bed now. Make sure you turn off the lights." She stood up and makes her way towards her bedroom.

"Gin-chan, what were you talking about? What mayonnaise freak?"

"Nothing, if you're done, let's go to bed." Gintoki got up and stretched before making his way towards his new found bed, he transformed into a fox and crawl inside the house, surprised that there's ample of space inside. Kagura soon joined him, turning into a tiger cub and snuggle next to Gintoki but he kicked her away since she's hogging too much of his space, plus she's kind of heavy from all that eating.

"O-Oi! You guys are making me do the cleaning!" Shinpachi exclaimed, realizing that he's the last one at the dining table. He should have seen it coming. He stood up and began clearing the table, once he was done, he joined the two of them for bed time.

* * *

When morning came, Gintoki couldn't help but wake up to the sound of someone making noises in the kitchen. It was disrupting his peaceful sleep and he wanted to bite whoever that is. He got out of bed and transformed, he stood in the living room in his favorite dark blue pajamas and proceed to stretch his limps, the popping sound of his bones is satisfying. Gintoki rubbed his belly as he makes his way towards the adjoined doors which lead to the kitchen, curious as to what the old hag is making for breakfast.

"Oi, old woman, what's for breakfast?" Gintoki yawned as he enters the kitchen, not before turning around and retreating back out to hide behind the wall. The one who's making all those noises wasn't the old hag but that mayonnaise addict and that was a close call because that man was facing in the direction of the door but luckily he was busy chopping something to notice Gintoki enter the kitchen. Before he could get back to his pet house there were already footsteps making it's way towards Gintoki. He knew it's impossible to run because the door connecting both rooms together are transparent, plus he's standing in a spot where that freak is able to see him if he moves and if he transform now, there is a 89.5 percent chance that bastard would see it too. There's only one option left.

The moment the doors were slide open, Gintoki strikes. He punched the black haired male so hard that he fell unconscious on the floor. It took a while for Gintoki to realized what he had done. He knew he could just run and leave that mayonnaise addict lying on the floor, after all, everyone faints once in a while right?

Gintoki walks over the male and hastily make a beeline to his pet house, he has to get back in before anyone sees him in here together with that unconscious mayonnaise freak. But no, something always has to happen. Because he heard footsteps coming down from stairs and a voice of an old lady asking if breakfast is done. Gintoki paced back and forth, he couldn't decide what he should do.

He decided to rush back to the older male and carried him bridal style. He hurriedly make his way towards another sliding door located in the living room which leads to the garden. He hid under the small coffee table, thankful that it has a ugly piece of cloth drape over it.

Gintoki was relieved when she entered the kitchen, he took this opportunity to get back into the living room and bolt for the stairs to look for that bastard room, it wasn't hard to find since for some reason, Gintoki realized that he's room would always, _always_ have a mayonnaise sticker on it. Where he got said sticker, he doesn't want to know. He rushed inside, slams the door with his feet and tossed the unconscious male onto the bed, he quickly picks up his blanket and draped it over him, making it look like he's still sleeping.

"Hijikata?" Gintoki paused in horror. The voice was close by, very close by. How that old woman managed to walk this fast pissed him off, she must be secretly harboring magical powers or something. He knew that he didn't lock the door so there's a high chance that old woman is going to come inside. He began panicking, running here and there looking for a place to hide.

 _She's in front of his door!_

"Hijikata!"

Gintoki screamed inwardly, panicked and unable to think, he jumped into the covers and lay flat as his head rest on the other male's stomach. He prayed hard that the old woman has bad eye sight, because if she doesn't, she'll be able to tell the weird lump under the covers. There was a huge silence until someone spoke. Now, Gintoki's blood turn cold, how he had wished that he could have just stayed in bed and never come out till breakfast is ready. He shed a silent tear, cursing god for not answering his prayers.

"Sorry, I'm changing!"

The covers were lifted up and Gintoki smiled sheepishly at the intruder.


End file.
